Sometimes it gets boring and tiring knowing what's gonna happen next. I'm not talking about the bigger picture of life but rather daily happenings. And how would I know what's up next? Coz I planned it all.
I miss the element of surprise. The little good things that happen unexpectedly. Having a daily job that's almost like being a high class factory worker (input, process, output, report) is just all the more making me yearn for some life in things outside that world. And yet, I know every step of the way from the moment I step out of my office till I sleep. The whole cycle happens again the day after, week after. All well planned. By me. It's like watching a movie that you've seen before and you know what's gonna happen next. The funny thing is, God hasn't been intervening for quite some time now so whatever is planned, happens. I dunno if that's good or bad but sometimes I feel like I'm carrying something really heavy on my back. It's aching like crazy. (literally)
I'm tired of "planning" the next step. If nothing happens, so be it. Even if it means missing a movie, skipping lunch etc. So tired.
just.so.tired.
I need a self-soul-searching getaway after all this. I can't wait for Bali. I don't need anymore questions. Just answers.
Ok God, you can get back behind the wheel. I just wanna lie down at the back of the car and sleep for a while. Maybe for a long while. You know best.
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